Sorting Out Thoughts

Posted on Sun Dec 16th, 2018 @ 10:21pm by Commander Liam McCarthy

Liam had been grateful that Alyse had left. Had she stayed, he did not know what he was going to do. She was definitely pushing at him. He could swear that she wanted to say more but once again, backed off. He suspected what she wanted to say but he knew that those words could not be trusted. Whatever the situation, he was glad that he could have some time to think for himself before the dinner for which he obligated himself.

He took a sonic shower and then said, "Computer, what is the stardate?"

The computer answered, "66324.65."

"Very well, Computer, Personal Log, Liam McCarthy, Stardate 66324.65."

He paused for a long while and then started. "Today has been extremely unusual. The Captain called me and Lieutenant Ren into her office along with Lieutenant Alyse Batari. I do not know why Alyse was called into the meeting. I am aware that the Captain knows of our personal relationship." He cringed as he said the words, "personal relationship." Before continuing he said, "Perhaps she had hoped to control me through her. I do not understand this Captain. She does not seem to have a great deal of confidence in herself and does not have a command posture. I do not know why she was placed in command of this vessel.

"She called the meeting today to belatedly address my concerns with Lieutenant Ren's disobedience. Rather than directly sanctioning him, she left him in control of his department and merely stated that his next promotion would be delayed. Certainly he deserved at least a reprimand. In the meantime, she seemed to want to mediate whatever our differences are. Our differences are that he tries to usurp my authority. How do you mediate that?" Anger in his voice was evident. "Clearly, the Captain is enamored too much of her Bajoran pet and is allowing her personal feelings to interfere with duty. IF I had more evidence of it, I might report her to Starfleet but at this time, all I truly have is conjecture and that is not enough."

He paced his quarters before continuing. "Then there is the matter of Alyse. The Captain made her second on my word. I do not know if I was thinking clearly when I made that recommendation. Alyse has had several mishaps earlier in the voyage, ruining a few pieces of equipment. She seems to have gotten it under control."

An uncomfortable voice continued, "We entered into a sexual relationship some time ago. I must admit that she fulfills my needs. I had hoped to keep everything professional and sexual but today, something changed. I cannot say what it is. When she kissed me in the gym, there was a change. It was not just lust. There was passion, desire, and something I dare not think about in it." He stomped his foot on the ground before continuing, "I cannot believe I allowed myself to be so duped. Women are devious! They will take your heart, toy with it and then hand it back to you in tatters. Do I dare risk that Alyse is not like Fiona? Perhaps she needs more testing, to see if she can be trusted. But how...? I must think of something...."

Liam sat on his bed and sat silently. "Computer, end log." He had much to consider to see whether Alyse was worthy.